Less Sermon More Song
Interview with Xavier Breed 24/8/2020 (Recorded 19/8/2020):
Response to podcasts 20/8/2020:
Thoughts around ‘Professional vs. Personal’ 14/8/2020:
For some reason the cultures I was raised in, the United States and Germany, have this really weird notion that there has to be a separation between your personal life and professional life. As though they don’t impact on each other?! Are we so disconnected from our own bodies and emotions as to think that this kind of compartmentalisation is even possible? As such, I always get a bit sensitive around the question of whether or not something is too personal to be shared within a professional realm. I tend to over share, and am learning that although the intention is one of love and openness, my over sharing can have the effect of triggering. Which I obviously do not want to do. So how do we navigate this conundrum? Not sure. I guess what I dream of is that we have a dance space where people feel welcomed to share their personal life to the extent that they feel comfortable, within a frame of mutual understanding and respect. Dance is too delicate an art to ask that its practitioners ’leave their emotions at the door.’ Bring your emotions into the room, if you feel comfortable. Because suppressing them isn’t doing anyone any good.
Reflections on creating a mental health resource while being in a mental health crisis// Or// Day 13 of Residency// Day 2 of Re-Lockdown 14/8/2020:
I can physically feel the chemical changes in my body as I start to go into depression. How to provide healing practices- bodywork, somatic movement, talking to friends and family, without diving back into compulsive list-making? Without setting up an expectation that healing should look or feel any particular way. I am so grateful to my collaborators, what would I be if I didn’t have Fa’asu to constantly affirm me? We must cherish people. That’s what I’ve learned most of all. Dance-making and practice must always be for the people- sustainable, supportive, and loving. I’m gonna go now, maybe brew some kombucha and sit in my little garden, watch my dog dig a hole, and allow myself to be IN IT.
Responses from our workshop 8/8/2020:
I struggle a lot with showing up to things. Discipline…what does that word even mean? In the age of cancel culture, I feel our physical/ virtual presence in spaces has become even more potently important. And yet, gosh it’s hard to leave the comfort and safety of the cocoon I’ve built myself in my home. So I get it, it’s hard. What if I replace my need for discipline with an unequivocal embracing of ‘putting myself in their shoes’-ness. It’s easy to disguise almost anything as a love song. Also, let’s make our self-care practices public! Like, let’s do them in public!
The discussions we had considered things that I have found myself pondering for some time now and never literally spoken about out loud or even written, I found my mind racing faster than my tongue could move and getting caught up in stumbles of words and then crept in moments of self doubt, was what I’ve been thinking even legitimate once I’d heard it physically?
Was this form of self doubt a response in my lack of security as a valid member of the industry being so inexperienced amongst the experienced, how do I find legitimacy without time, where does that source of validity come from and also why is it sometimes not there. Julia Harvey then spoke and told me she still even now has those same struggles about legitimacy and validity in ones self, this further made me think about the sustainability of our industry and also the affects of the self it has or the lack there of.
This workshop not only gave me a chance to voice my thoughts in a physical/digital platform but also connect and align myself with other people in this industry and made me feel more a sense of belonging. I furthermore am left with my questions and concerns that I want to delve into and acknowledge and question.